31 October 2008
Boys Don’t Quit, Parents Do
Posted by admin under: retention .
Shawn Cleary is that guy facing the wall standing in the Commissioner’s Corner. I don’t know why. You’ll have to ask him. He did post something fairly profound and even though he already has an injury for self-congratulation I’ll add another pat on the back. While not universally true, his observation is so nearly universal that the exception simply proves the rule.
I have noticed a trend, with scouts that leave the program, those scouts never really leave the program…Mom and Dad do…
…
Look, if you want to make up excuses so you don’t have to be a scout parent, make them up or tell the truth, I don’t care…but give you son the benefit of a doubt, and ask him before you make the decision for him…he is either old enough or getting old enough that his decision does matter…and they will regret you for making that decision for them…
It’s time to cut the apron strings and let your little boy be a little man…
We as parents owe them that much
Handcrafted by Shawn Cleary
This is why your good-hearted willingness to pick up the boy before the meeting and drop him off afterwards never seems to work out in the long run. I’ve had boys tell me they were quitting and after talking awhile you can hear the parents words coming out of their mouths. “We’re really busy at home. My dad just started a new job. My mom is doing a lot of other stuff, too, and she isn’t able to get me to the meetings”. I spent 4 years trying to “save” boys like that and I finally had to come to the controversial realization that I couldn’t. I could only make a program that would appeal to the boys and encourage them to come. I used to agonize over the boys I would lose in my den. What did I do wrong? Was I not being entertaining enough? Did the meetings not have enough activity? How could I please everyone all the time? In my second Webelos year I finally had to trust that the program was solid and let the families choose between whatever else was on their minds and spending time with their son in Cub Scouts. Now I’ve got a new Tiger den. It’s only been two months and I’ve already lost a boy and I know it wasn’t him. It literally hurts me every time I lose one, but I just have to let go of my ego and know that those who wish to participate will and those who don’t wont.
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3 Comments so far...
Mike Newman Says:
31 October 2008 at 1:53 pm.
I actually think lots of times it is the boy who doesn’t want to come, particularly as boys get older. In today’s world, unfortunately, staying at home is a lot less boring than it used to be.
Eric Says:
1 November 2008 at 12:04 am.
I think in most cases you’re absolutely right. And I’ve also noticed that it happens before the kid ever gets the chance to be a Scout. There is a boy in my son’s class who I know would LOVE scouting, but his parents (good, involved people) say they’re just too busy. I personally don’t think so, but every family has to make their own decisions. Like you said, you can’t take it personally.
I just don’t see how you can choose anything else over Scouting!! I think they just don’t realize what all it offers a boy. How could you and not get involved? You just keep putting on that program and do the best you can for the boys who are interested. The others are always welcome to join.
Erick "Raven" Says:
10 November 2009 at 9:02 pm.
From my personal experience as a Den leader and Cubmaster, the trend mentioned is true. Those boys who do the best and are the most involved in scouts are the ones that have parental involvement! It is depressing to see a boys (cubscouts) dropped off and then afterwards picked up (like the BSA is a babysitting group). Then, when the boys have tasks to do at home (as they get older, the more they do at home), the parents are lost as they don’t know what is going on and end up leaving their boys hanging. And they wonder why the aren’t getting the awards and promotions like the other boys???
Cub Scouts is a family oriented program, geared around the success of their boy(s). Be involved, ask your son questions about scouts, what beltloops, pins or special awards would they like to pursuit? Be a parent… and if you are too busy for your son, maybe it’s time to drop the extra-curricular activities (card night with the boys or girls night out).
YIS
Raven
